Dawn sighed when she heard Andrew at her bedroom door and debated whether or not she should let him in. She was furious with him for his deception, as well as brokenhearted that he'd do this to her. She was torn between ignoring him and yelling at him, but the yelling won out and she stormed from her bed to the door and flung it open, her anger clear on her face. "What do you want?" she snapped.
Andrew had no clue why she'd be so furious with him and looked at her with surprise. "Dawn? What…"
"Don't play dumb," Dawn said. She ushered him into the bedroom and shut the door, wanting to be able to talk to him privately. "How could you do this to me, Andrew?"
"Do what? Dawn, I really don't know why you're mad at me…"
Dawn took a deep breath, her body trembling. "Spike. You knew. You knew."
So that was what this was about… Andrew looked down, not knowing what to say. "I'm sorry, Dawn."
"You're sorry? That's it? You lied to me about…about something like this, and you're just sorry?"
"Really sorry?" Andrew looked up. "What do you want me to say? I know I screwed up."
"Oh yeah. You did. Big time." A flicker of hurt went across Dawn's face. "You said you loved me…"
"And I do!" Andrew insisted. "I love you so much, Dawn."
"Then how could you do this to me! How could you keep something like this a secret, knowing how much it was hurting me to think he was dead? How could you!?" Dawn was bordering on hysterical now, and Andrew took a step back from her.
"I don't know! Spike told me in L.A. that he didn't want Buffy to know, and…"
"I'm not Buffy," Dawn said, her voice almost a growl.
"I know! But if you knew, then Buffy would know, so I kept quiet about it. And then you and I got together, and I didn't know how to handle the whole thing."
"So you lied to me? Really not the way to do it, Andrew," Dawn snapped.
"I know! And I knew at the time, I just…"
"You just what? Thought it would be fun to screw with me like that?"
"No! God, no, Dawn, it was never anything like that! Please, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…"
"I can't…" Dawn held up her hand. "I can't even look at you right now."
Andrew's head went down again. "Oh." He paused for a moment. "I'll…I'll leave then."
"Good. Go."
Andrew gave her one last look before he walked out of the bedroom. As soon as the door shut, Dawn threw herself back on her bed and sobbed.
*** *** ***
Buffy stood when she heard yelling in Dawn's room, but Spike grabbed her hand and stopped her from going in. She looked at him in confusion, and he shook his head.
"Lovers' quarrel, pet. Best if we keep out."
Buffy's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Lovers' quarrel? What are you talking about? That would make Dawn and Andrew…" At Spike slow nod, Buffy paled. "Oh god. Please tell me you're joking."
"'Fraid not, kitten."
Buffy sat down on the couch. "I can never leave her alone again. Ever."
Spike put his arm around her. "Could be worse."
"I'm failing to see how," Buffy replied, looking over at him.
"He could still be trying to be evil."
Buffy sighed. "Okay, fine. It could be worse."
It wasn't long until Andrew emerged from the bedroom, his head hanging. He stopped by the couch and looked at Buffy and Spike for a moment. "Congratulations on your engagement. And…I'm sorry. For… I'm just sorry." He walked past them and out of the apartment, shutting the door behind him.
Buffy and Spike looked at each other for a moment before Buffy stood. "I should go talk to her."
Spike nodded. "Yeah. Go on."
Buffy took a deep breath and went to Dawn's door. "Dawnie?" she called as she knocked. When the only response she got was the soft sound of tears, Buffy sighed and walked in. She frowned at the sight of Dawn, stretched out on her stomach on the bed, sobbing into her pillow.
"Sweetie? Can I get you anything?"
"A boyfriend who isn't an ass," Dawn replied, her voice muffled by the pillow.
"Hey, if I could find those, I'd be a miracle worker," Buffy said. She went over to the bed and sat beside Dawn, rubbing her back softly. "Wanna tell me what happened?"
Dawn sat up, her eyes red and puffy. "Andrew knew about Spike. Since he went to L.A., apparently. Spike told him not to say anything to you for some crazy Spike reason, I guess, so he didn't—and he didn't tell me either. Even after you went to L.A. where you were bound to see Spike, and after he sat there and watched me cry because I was missing him! How could he do that to me?"
Buffy wished she had a real answer to give her sister. Instead, all she could offer was, "Because men are complete and total boneheads?"
Dawn snorted. "I knew that." Her face crumbled as her tears started anew. "It hurts so much."
Buffy wrapped her arms around her little sister and pulled her in for a hug. "I know."
"I feel so betrayed," Dawn said softly. "He…he told me he loved me. And…and we…"
Buffy was grateful Dawn didn't finish that sentence so she could fill it in her own way. With something like "and we took a nice stroll through the park." Because strolls through the park, Buffy could handle. "Guys do stupid things even when they love us. I mean, Spike, total moron. But he loves me."
Dawn chuckled a little at that. "I guess. I just…did Andrew leave?"
Buffy nodded. "Yeah. But he didn't take anything with him, so I assume he'll be back."
Dawn sighed. "I think I need some space right now anyway. To sort out all this big mess of feelings inside me right now."
"Space is good," Buffy said. "It helps. Talk to him again when you've calmed down, and I bet you two will work it out." Buffy tried to ignore the fact that she'd just told her sister to try to work things out with Andrew Wells. She still hadn't wrapped her head around that at all.
"I'm tired," Dawn said as she pulled away from Buffy. "Would you mind if I just maybe slept for a bit?"
"No, not at all. Let Spike or me know if you need anything, okay? We'll be out in the living room."
Dawn nodded. "Thanks, Buffy. And I'm sorry to be doing this now, with Spike back and everything. Really bad timing on my part, I know."
"It's fine, Dawn. Really." Buffy kissed dawn's forehead. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Dawn replied with a small smile.
Buffy got off the bed and Dawn lay back down, curling up as her tears continued to flow.
*** *** ***
Dawn had a hard time falling asleep after Buffy left, but when she finally did, she slept through the rest of the night and the next morning. It was well into the afternoon before she finally got out of bed, and she was happy to notice that sleeping had made her feel better.
She was still hurt, and she still wanted to smack Andrew repeatedly upside the head, but she was over the initial shock. With a little more time and some groveling on his part, she was sure she could forgive him.
Even after this, she couldn't deny that she loved him. The fact that he'd lied to her, had kept something this important from her when she'd thought they were being open with each other hurt her deeply. But the thought of going on without him now, after all that they'd shared—that hurt more. A lot more.
Dawn went out into the living room and immediately noticed that something was wrong. And then it hit her. There was no pile of DVD's by the television, no handheld video game system on the coffee table, no trunk of clothes stashed behind the couch. Andrew's things…they were all gone.
"He came and got them this morning. Said it was best not to wake you."
Dawn turned at the sound of Spike's voice. "He…he left? Really left? But…" The tears she thought had dried up the night before were back again.
"He said he was going to London," Spike replied. "Back to Slayer Central."
Dawn let out a breath of relief. "Oh. Then we'll see him when we go, I guess."
Spike nodded. "Yeah. You all right, bit?"
"More or less," Dawn replied. She shrugged. "Maybe a little time apart like this will be good."
"It can be," Spike said. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. For my part in this. I…I could hear what the two of you were fighting about in there, and I'm sorry. If I'd known it would lead to something like this…" Spike paused for a moment and ran his hand through his hair. "Keeping the fact I was back from you and your sister was a really bad thing for me to do, all the way around. I keep regretting it more and more."
"Yeah, it was," Dawn replied. "But I'm so damn happy that you're not dead, I'm forgiving you."
Spike gave her a half smile. "I'm glad for that. I thought I'd lost you for good back in Sunnydale."
"You didn't." Dawn walked over to him and took his hand. "You're family, you know. And with family, no matter how much you want to strangle them sometimes, they're still family. And I love you, Spike."
Spike glanced down at their hands for a moment before he looked back up at her face and smiled, "Love you, too, platelet."
"I know you do." Dawn wrapped her arms around him and held him close. "I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner. I should have, back in Sunnydale. I was just hurt."
"You had every reason to be," Spike said. "After what I did to Buffy…" He winced, the pain of that memory still raw, no matter how hard he tried to move past it.
"No," Dawn said, shaking her head against him. "It wasn't just that. It was part of it, yeah, but…" She swallowed. "I felt… I felt like you abandoned me."
Spike pulled back from her and looked into her eyes. "Abandoned you? When I left to get the soul?"
"No, not then." She sighed. "It was before. When Buffy came back. All summer, you'd been focused on me. You were around all the time, protecting me, hanging out with me. And then Buffy came back, and you weren't around anymore. I felt…ditched."
Guilt was heavy on Spike's face. "Dawn…I never meant… I'm sorry you felt that way, sorry I made you feel that way. I just got so caught up in things… But it's not an excuse. You're right—I did stop paying the sort of attention to you I should've been, and I was wrong to do that."
"I know why you did," Dawn said. "Buffy told me about that year, the things that were going on, and well, I think she needed you more than I did—even if she was being all stubborn." She smiled slightly. "Let's just let it be the past, okay? New life for you, new start for us. Deal?"
Spike smiled back. "Deal," he replied with obvious relief.
"Good, then it's all settled. Where'd Buffy go?"
"She went to get something to eat," Spike said. "She should be home soon."
"Great, cause I'm starved," Dawn said. "Wanna watch television with me while we wait for her?"
"Yeah," Spike replied. "I'd like that."
*** *** ***
Andrew had barely slept since he'd left Rome. Every time he tried, he'd roll over onto the empty space in his bed and it would wake him up again, reminding him all too clearly that Dawn wasn't there with him anymore.
He'd known from the beginning this was going to happen. How could it not? Dawn was like a goddess, and he was nothing. He wasn't even worthy to be in her presence, never mind actually touch her. Granted, he hadn't thought it would happen quite as quickly as it had, but he certainly couldn't say he was surprised. This was the way a relationship like theirs was destined to end—with her realizing that he wasn't worth keeping around after all.
But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. He couldn't stop thinking about the last words they'd shared.
She couldn't stand to look at him…
Another weight hung heavy on his conscience, and Andrew hated himself even more than he had before. He ruined everything he touched, brought nothing but pain to everyone he knew. He should've stayed away from Dawn, shouldn't have even gone to Rome. He'd been weak, not willing to put what was best for her before what he wanted. And because of it, he'd taken something from her that he could never give back and he'd broken her heart.
And still, he longed for her. If she were to walk through his door right then and tell him she wanted him again, he'd be back in her arms in an instant, despite knowing that all he'd ever be capable of was causing her more pain.
All he ever did was hurt people…
His own heart was breaking, but he didn't resent the pain. He deserved it. Every bit of aching the universe could throw on him, he deserved. He was nothing but a worthless screw up.
His one consolation was that maybe now with him gone, Dawn could find someone worthy of her love, someone who could make her forget all about him. She'd find someone who was handsome and good, someone who was everything he wasn't. He could spend his life miserable and alone, but she should be happy. He prayed that without him there to mess everything up, she'd find that.
Knowing sleep wasn't going to come, Andrew lay alone in the bed and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for the sun to rise.
*** *** ***