Still, she was ready to leave, ready to get to London and see Andrew again. Her anger faded more the longer they were apart, and she found herself missing him more than anything else. Her bed seemed too big, too cold now, and all too often she'd start aching for his touch, longing for the way his skin felt against hers. She'd wake up in the night, throbbing, wanting him so badly it hurt.
Even beyond that, she just missed him. She wanted to hear him laugh, see him smile. She kept thinking of things she wanted to tell him, and frowning when she remembered she couldn't.
But the waiting would be over soon. They were on their way from the Watcher's Council's private hangar bay to Slayer Central and Dawn was eagerly awaiting the arrival. It felt even more like they were starting over than when they left Sunnydale, more like starting something new than the impromptu move to Rome that still left Dawn scratching her head as to why they'd done it.
London made sense. Buffy taking over the every day operations of Slayer Central was something Dawn thought she probably should be doing, and with Spike back in the picture as Buffy's fiancé, Dawn felt like she had a real family again.
To add to her happiness, Buffy had announced that morning that she had asked for a flat down the hall from the one Spike and Buffy would be living in to be set up for Dawn. Previously, Buffy had wanted Dawn to live in one of their spare bedrooms, something Dawn had been less than thrilled with. She'd wondered a bit about Buffy's sudden change of mind until she'd seen the discarded pregnancy test in the bathroom and known why Buffy suddenly wanted the extra room to remain vacant—for nine months at least.
Dawn smiled every time she thought about that. She was going to be an aunt. Cool.
The driver announced that they were almost there, and Dawn bounced a little in her seat, her excitement barely contained. She looked out the window as they drew nearer, taking in the place that would be her new home. It was larger than she'd imagined, spanning several buildings to provide space for both living quarters for the local Slayers and Watchers as well as business offices and training facilities. And from the briefs that Giles had had sent over, it seemed like it was quite a busy place.
The car pulled into the driveway, and Dawn smiled. She was getting a new home and soon she'd have her boyfriend back in her life. Things couldn't get any better.
*** *** ***
Dawn walked around her new flat, hardly able to believe it was actually hers. It wasn't really very large, but it was way bigger than the bedroom she'd had back in Rome, and more than enough space for her anyway. And it was completely hers. No more having to share her space with anyone. Well, anyone she didn't want to anyway…
She had her own kitchen, her own bathroom, and a door with a deadbolt. The whole place had been furnished, complete with a television and stereo system—everything a seventeen year old could possibly want. Except the boyfriend to cuddle up with while watching the very shiny new television, but that would come soon enough. She just had to find out where he was hiding out in the very large Slayer compound.
Dawn still wasn't sure she'd ever learn to find her way around this place. She'd taken a wrong turn earlier and ended up in the Slayer dining hall—a mistake she never wanted to repeat. She made up her mind to stay in the staff living quarters unless accompanied by an escort. And a map. And quite possibly a compass, too.
Except that she really needed to find Andrew, and that was something she would have to do on her own. They had to talk about things, sort them out, and for that, it needed to be just the two of them. Dawn was pretty sure she remembered how to get to Giles's office from what she'd seen that day, and maybe he could point her in the direction of wherever Andrew was. Giles was, after all, Andrew's boss. It would stand to reason that Giles would therefore know where Dawn should go to find Andrew.
But she could do that in the morning. It had been a long day, one that had started out in an entirely different country. Dawn was tired, and all she wanted to do was curl up in her new bed and sleep. Tomorrow she would find him, and tomorrow they would talk.
Dawn yawned and stretched before walking into her bedroom to search her suitcases for something to sleep in.
*** *** ***
Dawn walked down a long, cobblestone road, her surroundings not ones she recognized. The street was empty save for her, and the wind whipped around her and chilled her to the bone. Dawn wrapped her arms tightly around herself in a attempt to stop her shivering. It didn't do her any good.
"You know, I'm really getting sick of these all-too-vivid dream things!" Dawn called out. "If you're like, living inside me, can't you just, like, send me a memo while I'm awake?"
A familiar voice that Dawn strained to place responded from an alley to her right. "You're not ready."
"For memos?" Dawn asked with a frown.
"For all of this. For what you seek and what you'll face. You aren't ready."
The voice wasn't the one she normally heard in these dreams, but it was familiar all the same. She knew she should be able to put a name to it, but something was off, making it just different enough that she couldn't place it. "Fine. I'm not ready. So how do I get ready, huh? Is there like some sort of training. Am I going to get my own personal Mr. Miyagi? Or…or is there like a book I have to read? Learning How to Be the Key in Twelve Easy Steps?"
"You're not ready for more than just being the Key. You've still got so much growing to do."
"Growing? I don't know about that. Buffy says if I get any taller, she's chopping me off at the knees." Dawn cleared her throat. "I can't see you. If you're going to talk to me, at least come out here."
"I'm right here. I'm with you."
Dawn let out a short yelp as the voice now came from behind her. She turned slowly, gasping when she realized she was now face to face with…herself? But it wasn't her, not quite anyway. This version was a little older and exuded a confidence that Dawn had never known. Furthermore, Dawn knew she couldn't possibly be as beautiful as the woman she was seeing now. "You are me. Well, sort of…"
"All this has been you. It's all inside of you, Dawnie. The strength, the power—it's there. But you just don't know it yet."
Dawn swallowed. "But…but you just told me, so I know now, right?"
The older Dawn shook her head, her expression sad. "I'm afraid not. Learning like the kind you have to do can only come through pain."
"But…but I don't want pain. I've already had lots of that, so haven't I learned enough from pain? Can't I learn from like big fluffy hugs or something?"
"Pain can always teach us something new. And living through it—it makes the joy so much sweeter."
"Can't I just get sweeter joy by having lots of it? Candy starts to taste sweeter after I eat so much I wanna barf." Dawn frowned. "Okay, that didn't really come out the way it sounded in my head."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't make it better."
"Make what better? The pain I'm going to learn from?"
Dawn didn't get a response with words. Instead, the older version of herself pressed a kiss against Dawn's forehead. A green light emanated from the place where their skin touched, spreading out until it engulfed them both. Then, it was gone, and Dawn was once again alone.
Dawn looked around frantically to see where the other her had gone, but she saw nothing. Suddenly, the wind picked up, howling past her now, gaining strength until it was blowing Dawn backwards. She screamed as the world around her faded in a blur and she was falling, nothing but darkness surrounding her now.
She sat up straight in bed, gasping to catch her breath as she did. "I'm really getting sick of those," Dawn muttered as she flopped back on her pillow.
*** *** ***
Dawn was proud of herself for not getting lost on her way to Giles's office the next morning. Granted, she'd asked for directions and drawn herself a map, but she'd gotten there with no serious problems at all.
"Hey Giles, can I talk to you for a moment?" Dawn asked as she poked her head in past his slightly-opened door.
Giles looked up from his desk and gave Dawn a small smile. "Of course, Dawn. Anytime. Come in."
Dawn walked over to the desk. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she tried to push down the butterflies that arose in her stomach. Why was she so nervous anyway? She was just asking Giles if he knew where she could find Andrew—it wasn't like this part was that big of a deal. The talking to Andrew part would be, sure, but not this part. This part was easy.
So why did she feel something strangely close to dread curling in her stomach?
"Did you need something?" Giles asked. His question pulled Dawn out of her thoughts and made her realize that she'd been standing there silent for longer than she should have.
"Oh, right, sorry. I was wondering if you could tell me where Andrew is. I need to talk to him."
Giles frowned. "Andrew? I assume you mean Andrew Wells."
"Yeah, him. He left Rome before us, and I haven't seen him since we got here."
"Andrew isn't here, Dawn."
Dawn blinked. "Oh. Well, when will he be back?"
"Not for some time, I'm afraid," Giles replied. "He accepted a job for the Council that will keep him away for at least the next few years."
Dawn stumbled back a few steps, the dread in her stomach changing to something much worse. "Y…years?"
"Yes. I was in Texas recruiting a newly located Slayer, or I would've stopped him from going. He's been a surprisingly competent Watcher, and I've liked having him as my second-in-command. But he apparently made the decision quite quickly and refused to let anyone talk him out of it."
"Where did he go?" Dawn asked in a small voice.
"We have some Watchers who have agreed to travel through other dimensions in search of lost texts. He's gone with a group of them."
Dawn couldn't believe what she was hearing. Andrew had actually gone on one of those crazy missions? "Make him come back!" Dawn yelled, startling Giles.
"I…I'm afraid I can't, Dawn. The nature of this sort of endeavor requires them to sever communication with the Council. I'm sorry."
"Is…is it dangerous?"
"Yes, it is," Giles answered truthfully. "Personally, I'd rather it not be done at all, but several of the other Watchers believe it's imperative that we recover these texts. I…" Giles stopped and looked Dawn over for a moment, the pain on her face greater than what he would have expected. "Were the two of you in a relationship?"
"I…I guess not," Dawn replied. "I have to go…"
Dawn heard Giles calling to her as she ran out of the office, but she didn't turn around, didn't stop until she was back in her own flat. She sunk to the floor beside the door and pulled her knees to her chin, tears streaming down her face as her heart broke completely.
Andrew was gone.
She'd lost him…
*** *** ***